"... never say."

I would never say,
"I hate you",
to someone I love,
but I would also
never say,
"I love you",
when the time
is right.

"... when you don't know."

Hands raised high above,
palms facing the sky,
tears ringling down,
a sad smile forming,
and the rain falls,
hiding the pain,
everyone else thinking,
"who is that lunatic,
standing in the rain,
smiling?",
'cause they do not
know,
that she is about to
do the only thing left
for her.

"... don't."

Don't cry when you can smile,
don't fall if there is no one
there to catch you,
don't love someone if
you can't get the same love
in return.


"... succumb not."

Do not drown,
keep away from
the shadows,
and try and be
happy,
for me and for
everyone else,
who love you
and always will
.

"... selfish of me."

When the tears are still
warm,
when the life has not fully
reached its end,
when you still are aware and
awake,
I would like to tell you,
that I am sorry,
for not staying when I
promised,
for leaving when my life
was still moving.

But you have to hear me
out,
know that I did not want
to leave you,
I just had to,
'cause I am suffocating
in this world,
and you were the reason
I stayed this long.

I am sorry,
for not keeping my
promise,
but I wanted to be
selfish once,
and be happy,
even if it meant ending
my life.


"... loving you is the hardest thing."

What a fool I have been,
thinking that you would
ever think of me,
as someone to love,
when you have only had
eyes for one girl,
and that is not me.

Would you believe me,
if I said good-luck,
and that I wish you
all the happiness in
this world?

Or would you think
that I am jealous,
for not being there
anymore,
for hiding in the dark,
not wanting to see you
two in love,
when my heart is broken?

But I do wish you
all happiness,
even when I am away.
For you, I'll do anything,
but watch you kiss a
person that is not me,
I'll endure anything,
as long as I don't
have to watch.

"... the boy, the devil."

With the wind blowing,
sakura leaves
swirling along,
we watch the lonely
boy,
standing beneath the
pink tree,
watching the rays of
sunligt that shine through,
and we all wonder,
"what is he thinking,"
believing that it is
something of great
importance,
for his eyes are closed,
brows creased in
frustration
and his lips set in a
thin line.

I stand there,
knowing that they are
looking,
wishing that they would
look away,
I adapt a look of
indifference,
hoping that it will fend
them off,
wanting to be left alone
with my thoughts,
knowing that they would
never know,
how it is to be like me,
trying to fend of the world
when they believe you are
the devil himself.

"... these sacrifices."

The blood is for the wicked,
for those with no heart,
oh, they use it for their
schemes and rituals,
chanting in unknown
languages,
and with their hands
held high,
they await their award
for their sacrifice.


And there are those
that wonder,
"what do they do?",
and no answer
comes to mind,
for they do not think,
no, they do not think
as the others,
those who they talk
about,
for if they did know
how those minds
worked, if they
did know,
they would never ask
that question again.

For these bodies that
does not harbour a heart
or any feelings,
these souls have been
damaged,
by those around
or by others that do
not care,
and by doing these
sacrifices,
they believe that they
will gain,
everything they have
lost.

"... opposites attract."

There are people who
wonder,
why you and I are
so close,
when we are so
different,
but what they do
not understand is
that opposites
attract,
and that you and I
complete each other
in a way no other
person could do.


"... for you, I'll do it."

Tears are for the lonely,
pain is for the strong,
but how do I do,
to keep you from
going there?
Oh, how do I keep you,
from going there,
'cause you do not
deserve to be locked away
in a place like that.
Oh, you should be some-
where that has shining
faces and where the
sun never goes down.
But how do I keep you
from the dark,
and guide you to light?
Oh, I wish I could,
could change this world,
and make you smile,
but this is not something
I can do,
but oh, dear,
I will be here,
day and night,
watching you until
you no longer need my
help.

"... maybe you and I."

Oh, the time has gone,
how did we not notice?
Cary on like we do,
and we will not succeed.
But oh, what will we do,
to change our ways?
How will it go,
before we fall apart?
Oh, we need to change,
if we want to succeed.
But you and I,
we do not do things,
even if we are told to.
Oh, you and I,
maybe we are not
meant to be.
You and I,
maybe we are not
meant to be.

"... never meant to be."

You stand there,
on the edge of
the cliff,
silently wondering
as you watch over
the waves that
crashes against the
shore,
"What have I done
with my life?"

You fall,
your hurting mind
gets soothed by
the pinching pain
of the cold,
your body crashing
against stones,
warmness
spreading through
you,
as you embrace
the darkness
dwelling inside.

"Goodbye world,
and thank you,
for making me
realize,
that I was never
meant to be."

"... weak enough."

I am not the only person in pain,
I am the only person weak enough
to need to shout it out.

"... cry."

Sometimes the loudest songs are the ones that make you cry.

"... remembering nothing."

I miss the smile that I had,
when I was just a child,
the warm and bubbling
laughter that broke through,
even when there wasn't
anything to laugh at.

I miss the feeling of
floating,
of not having every
problem you've faced
heavily upon your
shoulders.

And when I think back
to the memories that
I have,
it makes me realize,
that I don't remember
any of it.

Blank.

"... thoughts that circle."

Thoughts may not always be well written,
and sometimes the wording comes
through as confusing.

But they come to be as they
come to float through my mind,
not always in order,
and sometimes not making any
sense at all.

"... disgusted with myself."

I can still feel the blade,
sliding across my skin,
ghosting over the
already blood soaked
scars and wounds.

I can still feel the sting,
the sharp wake up
that comes everytime
it nicks my skin.

And some days,
I still crave the
feeling,
want to do it again.

"... twisted mind."

Some think that is is a joke,
that I can't be fucking serious,
that it is sick and twisted.
But what do you do,
when that is how your
mind works,
and you can't help
the thoughts that you have,
that you can't stop
them from popping up?

"... when you fall."

I set my goals high,
not understanding
that I would never
be able to reach them,
that I would fall only
a few feet from the ground.

And I did not understand,
that even though the fall
was not great,
the impact hurt a lot
more than it should have.

"... daylights and nighttime."

When it is light,
and the sun shines,
I hide myself,
try to act happy
and carefree,
though sometimes
it is too hard,
and I fail and hide.

When darkness falls,
and night has come,
I lie in my bed,
fearing for life,
questioning everything
I have been taught.
I fight back tears,
and will myself
not to stand up
and leave the existence
that I have built
up for myself.

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